In the continent of North America, there lies a nation where the degenerates of the East and West reside in. A nation that no one likes to speak of nor acknowledge its existence out of shame. A nation that will never have any geopolitical relevance no matter the circumstance. That nation is Japamerica.
In this irrelevant nation of degenerates, there lives two aimless 20 year old women. The first of these two is Eve, a “homely” (in the Hollywood sense) bitter femcel whose problems with men stem from growing up with a pathetic cuck older brother. When she’s not working her minimum wage retail job, she’s usually holed up in her room playing eroge. Eve lives with her roommate Buffy, a hopeless romantic who has the worst luck with finding love. Her numerous failed romances have left her with a body count in the double digits despite her young age, something she’s extremely self-conscious about.
These two women aren’t siblings nor childhood friends; they’re simply two young adults who both wanted to live out on their own and struck up a living arrangement together. Eve’s family was planning on moving to Cuckville where her cuck brother and cuck sister-in-law live, and desperate to avoid that, she took to the internet to find someone she could shack up with, and Buffy happened to be the only person who wasn’t male.
And for the past four months, these two have been living fine as roommates despite their different personalities and circumstances. And tonight was a typical night like any other.
“Finally, the torrent’s finished.”
Eve had just downloaded a perverted eroge called Shouben Shounen. Because you see, although Eve hates men, she still likes to lust after cute anime boys and the occasional shota.
“Hehehee…The executable image’s a yellow droplet…”
She also has some questionable kinks, but just about everyone in Japamerica has questionable kinks. It’s arguably the most normal part about Eve.
“Alright, just gotta get my vibrator, and we’re all set to go.”
Eve joyfully steps out of desk chair and skips towards her bedstand. However, just as she opened the drawer containing her small demure white vibrator, the sound of loud knocking came from the door along with Buffy’s hysterical voice.
“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve! My boyfriend broke up with meeeeeeeeeee!”
Looks like Buffy’s had another bad experience with a guy. Eve will never understand how Buffy can have so many bad experiences with men and not take the misandry pill like she has. Eve sighs, she’s not happy about delaying her masturbation session, but she also knows that leaving Buffy unhappy is never a good idea. She closes the bedstand drawer and when she opens her bedroom door, she’s met with the red snotty crying face of Buffy.
“O-Oh Evvveee! I met this guy, and I thought he was the one! We-We had a date to go to the movies! We were gonna see Lord of the Feebles together! But then…just now, I got a call from him telling me he wasn’t interested in me anymore and he found someone else! Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
Buffy collapses onto Eve for a hug, and Eve returns the hug even if she’s not happy about her tank top being stained in snot.
“There there…”
Eve casually comforts Buffy. She’s been through this routine several times already. Buffy has a bad experience with a guy, cries about it, gets comforted by Eve, feels better, finds a new guy, and the recycle repeats. It’s an annoyance, but a minor one, all things considered.
“Oooh, I was the one who paid for the tickets, and the movie’s gonna start in two hours…”
Buffy looks up at Eve with wet puffy eyes.
“…Could you come to the movies with me? I’d feel a lot better if I didn’t feel like I wasted my money on those tickets.”
Eve doesn’t want to. She had planned out a whole night of masturbation, but she also knows that if she refuses, Buffy will be an emotional wreck and living at the house will become intolerable if that happens.
“…Y-Yeah, sure thing. Movie’s in two hours, right? What time should we leave?”
Buffy’s disgusting crying face immediately lights up. She truly is a woman of extreme emotion.
“Well, I don’t like sitting through trailers and commercials, so it’s not a big deal if we’re a few minutes late. We should leave in about 90 minutes. Thanks Eve!”
Buffy cheerfully closes the door, leaving Eve to sigh again. She had planned out a whole evening of masturbating to anime boys, but it looks like that’ll have to wait. This was only made worse when she decided to do research on the movie Lord of the Feebles and learned it was three hours long.
“…You ever think about taking a break from finding ‘the one’ Buffy?”
Eve is sitting on the passenger’s side of Buffy’s car. While Eve doesn’t dislike Buffy, she does hate the constant roller coaster of emotions her quest for love puts her on.
“Whhhhatt!? No! If I give up on finding my one true love, then he could slip right by me without either of us ever knowing. Just think, he could be only five centimeters away from me and we simply just don’t know each other yet!”
“Ugh…”
Eve is not a hopeless romantic. She’s never been on a date and has zero interest in doing anything with a 3D boy. If she could, she would love nothing more than to fully convince Buffy to give up on men. But she knows that deep down Buffy could never be convinced to give up on finding love. Even though it’s past five, the sun still hasn’t set due to the summer season. Eve can only hope that the theater has an arcade of some sort she can hang out at if this long ass movie turns out to be terrible.
“What the…?”
The car comes to a sudden stop, jerking Eve around.
“What’s going on, why’d you-“
Just one look through the front window is enough to explain why Buffy stopped the car. There’s a black cloaked figure carrying a dead body and holding a scythe with a menacing aura. Eve takes her glasses off, cleans them quickly and puts them back on. But the figure is still there. The same black cloak, the same scythe, and the same dead body.
“…”
Neither of the two women can speak nor move. They’ve heard stories about reapers, the figures that come and take you to Sheol when it’s time for you to die. It’s their first time seeing one for real. Suddenly, the reaper turns to face the two women.
“…”
The two women are frozen in fear as the figure approaches them. How much time has passed? Probably only a few seconds, but it feels much longer.
“…Ah, there’s the car.”
The reaper speaks with a surprisingly feminine voice, and before either Eve or Buffy can react the reaper takes her(?) scythe out and slashes the car, along with the two women. There is no time for their brains to register the pain, only the memories of each other’s mutilated bodies and the destroyed car remain as they black out.
When Eve wakes up, she finds herself inside…a bedroom? It’s not her bedroom, that’s for sure.
(Where am I?)
Her body feels sore and sluggish. Did she really get sliced apart by a reaper? But there aren’t any scars on her body indicating that. Maybe Buffy just got into a car crash.
(Shouldn’t I be in the hospital if that’s what happened?)
Eve lifts her head up and looks around the room. The room has black marble walls, a black marble ceiling, and a red-carpet floor.
(Did we get drugged and kidnapped by some weird magic users?)
It would certainly explain the color scheme of the room. Eve decides to get up and look around the room. Her body aches around her abdomen, where the reaper supposedly cut her in half.
(There’s a window. Maybe I can get an idea of where I am by looking out of it.)
Eve shuffles herself to the window and opens the window curtains. And outside the window she sees…a black cave? She’s in a cave? The door suddenly opens.
“Ah, looks like your friend’s finally awake.”
Standing at the door is buffy and a strange looking…person? It looks like a human man, but the area where his eyes should be is completely hollowed out and is nothing but pure blackness. Standing next to him is Buffy, who looks unnerved. The man nudges Buffy.
“Go ahead, get your friend caught up on what’s going on.”
Buffy steps into the room while holding her chest and grimacing. It looks like she’s suffering from a similar pain that Eve is.
“I-I’m glad you look okay Eve…”
She wrings her hands a bit before explaining things.
“Um so…I-It looks like we’ve died and are now in Sheol.”
There’s a slight pause, as if Buffy was expecting a reaction from Eve. But honestly, that explanation makes an uncomfortable amount of sense to Eve.
“I see…”
So, they’re dead? What an anticlimactic way to die, and Eve can’t help but be frustrated that she had to die before her cuck brother.
“B-But don’t worry, we weren’t supposed to die! Looks like the reaper made a mistake, and only went after us because she was supposed to kill Tyler when he was in my car, but well, after he cancelled our date…”
It appears to be that Tyler’s the name of the guy who stood up Buffy.
“Um, it seems to be a real big deal down here when reaper’s kill people they’re not supposed to. So uh, we’re gonna have to go down to the courthouse and wait for a punishment to be dealt out to the reaper who killed us. But don’t worry, once that’s over, we’ll be revived and sent back to the time we were accidently killed!”
Eve recalls the stories about Sheol she heard growing up. It was her understanding that reapers never make mistakes, and when you die, that’s it, you’re in Sheol for the rest of eternity. So, hearing that not only are reapers capable of making mistakes, but that they have to go court for them as well is…bizarre to say the least.
“Well, that’s good I guess.”
In all honesty, Eve doesn’t really have anything to live for. She doesn’t get along with her family, has no real friends and no desire to get married and have children. The only enjoyment she gets from life is her precious eroge.
(Wait, is eroge allowed in Sheol?)
If not, then Eve can’t wait to get revived and wants it done as soon as possible.
“Come on, let’s get some food and then head to the courthouse. The trial will be starting soon!”
“Yeah, got it. Thanks Buffy.”
Outside of the dark looking atmosphere of the house, everything else seems not all that different from back on Earth. Even the food prepared for the two women isn’t all that strange looking. The man is well…outside of the eyes, he basically looks and acts like a regular man. Meaning that Buffy is okay with him, and Eve dislikes him, but knows it’s a bad idea to start shit in the underworld. The man takes the two women into his normalish looking car. It looks like an expensive sports car, but black, and with burning skulls decorating the rims. Eve and Buffy look over the world of Sheol and see how…oddly mundane it seems to look. It really doesn’t look all the different from the cities from the overworld. Sure, there are more black hollow eyed people walking around, but there are also completely normal people walking around.
“Excuse me Mr. Sheol man? Why do some of the people here have um…blacked out eyes and other people don’t?”
Buffy can’t help but ask about this particular quirk and the driver chuckles lightly.
“Ah, if I had a brimstone for every time a person from the overworld asked me that, I’d be wealthy beyond my dreams. Those blacked out eyes you speak of are just the normal eyes for people born and raised in Sheol. The ones with ‘normal’ eyes, those are just dead humans from the overworld. Nothing more, nothing less.”
As he gives the explanation, Eve notices two children with normal human eyes walking by and can’t help but feel slightly disturbed. It doesn’t take too long for the car to arrive at the courthouse, and again it looks normal enough. As long as you ignore the skeleton and reaper imagery.
“Alright ladies, follow me to the courtroom.”
Eve and Buffy do as they’re told. The courthouse is crowded and filled with what seems to be all sorts of Sheol judicial members hurrying to whatever room they need to be. While it’s somewhat stressful, Eve and Buffy are able to follow their guide to the courtroom. Once again, outside of the general…Sheolness of it, the courtroom is not too different from a typical courtroom in the overworld. The judge is dressed in a black cloak not too dissimilar to the cloak the reaper was wearing. And, on the stand, there is the reaper who killed Eve and Buffy. She has her cloak hood down so her feminine face and long black hair are visible. She too, has the same black hollow eyes that all the other Sheol residents have. The judge bangs his hammer, ready to start the trial.
“Alright, court is now in session. Today’s case is a shameful kind that I never enjoy. But it seems to be that you, Reaper Mavet, have made the most shameful mistake any reaper can make. You killed humans who weren’t supposed to die yet.”
Eve and Buffy look over at their killer Reaper Mavet. Even with her strange eyes, they can tell that she’s petrified with fear. The punishment for killing humans who weren’t supposed to die must be severe.
“What do you have to say for yourself?”
The judge presses her. It seems to be Sheol court works a bit differently from courts in the land of the living.
“…My SGPS radar informed me that the man who was supposed to die had arrived, and I cut the car he was into pieces.”
She gives her justification with little emotion in her voice. The judge is not pleased with her answer.
“Yet you sliced the car in a way that would’ve killed another person unnecessarily had Tyler been in that car. That doesn’t excuse the reckless use of your scythe.”
Voices murmur throughout the courtroom for a bit, then Mavet slowly raises her head with a shameful expression and speaks again.
“…I was in a rush. The latest episode of Sex and the Sheol was going to air soon and I didn’t want to miss it. So, I only cared to find the car that the woman Tyler was dating would be driving in and cut it apart so I could get back home in time.”
The courtroom gasps loudly and then goes silent after Mavet reveals the embarrassing reason why she botched up her job in the worst way.
“So, you purposefully rushed through your work just so you wouldn’t miss an episode of a television show. Through this terrible decision making, not only did you not kill the human you were supposed to kill, but you also killed two humans who weren’t supposed to die either. You’ve made an absolute mockery of what it means to be a reaper! I’ve never met someone more guilty of reaper violations in my life! Guilty, you hear me! Guilty!”
The judge yells furiously at Mavet, deeply disgusted with her, before turning his way towards Eve and Buffy.
“…Alright you two, since you were the victims of Reaper Mavet’s incompetence, you two will get to decide her punishment.”
The two women look at each other, unsure of what to do. Eve especially so.
“I mean…I’m not actually that upset-“
“You’re not the first human whose been incorrectly killed to say that. But you need to understand, what Reaper Mavet did was the lowest of the low. If you don’t decide on a punishment for her, we will give her the life penalty and force her to be reborn in the overworld. Court dismissed for recess!”
Everyone is pulled out of the courtroom. Eve and Buffy aren’t sure what to do.
“That life penalty…That’s just the death penalty for people from Sheol isn’t it? How awful!”
Buffy is the kind of person who’s against the death penalty, so of course this whole “life penalty” thing would bother her immensely. Eve herself is also somewhat perturbed. Not because she’s against the death penalty per say, but because she considers the overworld to be shit and eroge it’s only redeeming quality, and Mavet doesn’t seem like the kind of woman who plays eroge.
“Well, if you don’t want her to get the life penalty, guess we gotta come up with a punishment for her, don’t we?”
“I-I guess, but I don’t want to punish her too harshly!”
“You don’t want to be too harsh to the reaper whose incompetence killed us?”
The morals of Eve and Buffy are not exactly intertwined, so the conversation about what to do about Reaper Mavet becomes difficult.
“Look I mean why don’t we just…”
“H-Huh!? A-Are you for…No wait, that’s not a half bad idea…”
It takes them all recess, but the two women are able to figure out a punishment for Reaper Mavet. And they’re able to re-enter the courtroom without any disagreement on how to punish Mavet. The judge bangs his hammer again.
“Court is in session! Now, we all know that Reaper Mavet is guilty of killing humans who weren’t supposed to die. Since that’s the case, the humans she improperly killed are to decide her punishment.”
Indeed, the judicial system in Sheol is nothing like how it is in the overworld.
“Now, you two humans right here! State the punishment you want for Reaper Mavet! Given the grave nature of her mistake, there is no such thing as being too harsh!”
Mavet looks at Eve and Buffy while trembling. Mavet’s always been a failure her whole life. Never got good grades at school, was always picked on and bullied by her classmates, her parents always preferred her older sister over her, and now she committed the worst act any reaper could commit. She definitely would be shitting herself right now had she not used the restroom during recess.
Eve and Buffy exchange glances with each other and Eve takes the chance to speak.
“…Right. Uh, so we’re not actually all that upset about this accident, but if a punishment is needed for Reaper Mavet, then so be it. Me and Buffy talked about it during recess, and I’ll have Buffy confirm what we’ve decided.”
Eve gives Buffy the go ahead to speak.
“T-Thank you Eve! Um…I think Reaper Mavet means well, but she did do something really bad! B-But I don’t want to be too harsh on her! So…Reaper Mavet, your punishment for killing Eve and me when it’s not our time is that you have to our new friend and live in Japamerica with us until our time to die comes!”
The courtroom goes silent for a minute. The punishment sounds absurd, and far too light for what Reaper Mavet did. But the judge seems satisfied with the answer. He doesn’t care if the punishment makes sense to the residents of Sheol, only if it’s what the humans want.
“Very well, Reaper Mavet, you’ve been sentenced to live in the human nation of Japamerica and to be friends with these humans until they day they die. I shall now revive you humans, and Mavet will come to live with you after she kills the human she was supposed to kill! Court is adjourned!”
The last hit on the gavel completely changes things. Eve and Buffy are no longer in the court room. They’re back to sitting in Buffy’s car on the way to the movies.
“…Uh…”
Neither the two women know what to say, when suddenly.
“Oh, I got a text message!”
Buffy gets her phone out to read the text.
“Off to kill Tyler, will be back when I’m done. Enjoy your movie. From Mavet!”
It looks like everything that happened really did happen. Eve takes her phone out to look at the time, it’s 5:45.
“Alright, let’s head to the movies. Off to watch Lord of the Feebles!”
Buffy steps on the gas pedal and drives toward the theater. Eve sighs as the car drives on.
(I’m gonna have to wait more than three hours until I can masturbate to pissing anime boys…)
And so, this begins the journey of two strange women, the failure reaper who lives with them, and the perverted town of Japamerica.
Author’s Note: So this is just a random goofy idea that popped in my head. It would be more accurate to say this “pilot” is more of a proof of concept than anything else. If I decide to continue and write this series more, expect a lot of dark, vulgar, and juvinile humor.
