Himitsukichi

The next few days went by with no further incident. It almost seemed like that day shift I worked at was just going to be another series of memories that would stick around in my brain for me to occasionally think back to them. However, that was not the case. If anything, it would seem that I triggered something akin to the butterfly effect wherein working that day shift caused a grand change in the world. At least for me.

*BZZT*

I’ve been jolted out of my sleep by the loud sound of my doorbell. Looking at my phone, I see that it’s 8 in the morning. I have no idea who the hell would be trying to see me this early. Maybe the landlord? Could it be that he’s here to finally fix the heater? I groggily force myself out of bed and head to the front door. My grogginess is wiped away as soon as I open the door.

“Hello Gray.”

…It’s not the landlord. It’s Blanche in her nurse uniform. How the hell did she get my home address?

“I made sure to keep my promise to see you again. It’s nice that your apartment’s close to the clinic.”

I stare at her, unable to properly think of a response. Blanche keeps blathering away.

“I came back to the store, and talked to Mildred for a bit and she was kind enough to give me your address. Now I’ve come up with a plan to help with your poor eating habits. Since your home isn’t too far from mine, I figure I can make you a little something to help get you the proper nutrients during the day before heading to work.”

She pulls out a pen and paper from her purse.

“I’d appreciate it if you could inform me of your personal food preferences, any allergies you may have, if you’re taking any medication, and if you are, what that medication is.”

…She really is serious with this, isn’t she? I have some strong words for Mildred next time I see her. For now, I need to deal with the nuisance standing in front of me.

“…It’s too early for this shit. I’m going back to bed.”

I try to close the door on her, but Blanche desperately puts herself in the way.

“You’re not going to brush me off that easily.”

I’m trying to push her away, but I’m not a strong man, so I’m having no success.

“That’s…That’s nice and all, but I, nggh, I don’t need nor want your attention.”

The two of us struggle for about a minute. But alas, Blanche’s sheer tenacity wins against my lack of physical strength, and she’s able to push herself into my apartment. I believe this sort of thing was referred to as “trespassing” back in the old world and was considered a crime. Blanche sighs with an irritated tone as if she’s the one being inconvenienced.

“…I swear, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone this resistant towards the idea of getting free food. And you’re seriously trying to claim you don’t have an eating disorder!?”

“Anyone would be resistant to being woken up by someone barging in on their home!”

“I only barged in because you tried to slam the door on me!”

“I slammed the door on you because you won’t stop trying to barge in on my life!”

I don’t understand why she can’t seem to get this. I don’t care if her reasoning is “noble”, the fact that she’s trying to force herself in my life makes me want to punch a wall.

“You’re acting like we’re strangers!”

She keeps pressing me. I’m reaching my limit with her. I sigh loudly.

“…Okay, look, if you wanna be my replacement mother, then could you try and find replacements for the rest of my family?”

She gives me a confused look. Okay, this is good. Now I can dominate in this conversation. I keep talking.

“Yeah, my family was pretty shitty. I’m not gonna demand a replacement for every cousin and uncle twice removed, but if you’re gonna be my new mom, get me a new dad, brother, and sister too and I’ll accept it.”

Her face becomes more expressionless. As if she has no idea how to respond to what I’m saying.

“…Oh, and get me a new boyfriend too. My ex left me in a rather cruel way.”

The tale of my ex was a simple tale of high school sweethearts that ended poorly. We were together for about five years, and then one day I walked in on him in bed with someone else. To his credit, he didn’t try to pull that “It’s not what it looks like” bullshit you see in movies. He told it like it was, and by the end of the week he moved out of the apartment, and it’s been that way for about three years now. However, there’s a more pertinent reason I brought up the term “boyfriend”.

“…B-Boyfriend!?”

Blanche is now flustered. Yes, being born and raised in HOME means that Blanche isn’t used to people who have “abnormal” preferences like me. Along with her also being a prude, I can use this to my advantage to disgust her so much that she leaves my apartment. It’s admittedly a low-brow plan, but I’ve never prided myself on being a classy guy so it’s fine.

“…Yes Blanche, a boyfriend. I’m gay. A homosexual, a faggot, a queer. Feel free to use whichever term you like. I want a handsome, loving man with a decently sized dick that’s neither too big nor too small.  Being in a relationship with my right hand and random AI chatbots isn’t too bad, but there’s a part of me that misses the human touch. Sure I could go to a prostitute, but it’s just not the same thi-“

“What on Earth is wrong with you!? I don’t need to know any of this! I’m leaving!”

And with that she angrily stomps out of my apartment and slams the door shut. Well, that was easy. Almost too easy. Good thing too. Because if that wasn’t the case, I probably would’ve ended up either revealing information that’s far too private and personal, or I’d have to start making up wild sexual tales that never actually happened to me. Truth be told, outside of the whole “gay” thing, I’m actually pretty vanilla, sexuality speaking. Furthermore, I’ve never been with anyone else besides my ex. I go to lock the front door. Dammit, there’s no way in hell I can go back to bed after all that. I decide to go make myself a cup of coffee. While waiting for the coffee maker, I go and throw on a random DVD. It’s some action movie about tough guys shooting and punching each other. According to one of the bonus features, no blanks were used in the making of the film and the filmmakers even proudly boast that while some injuries were acquired on set, no one died. Well, that’s good.

I spend the rest of the day watching more random DVDs from my collection, until it’s time for me to get ready for work. As I arrive at the store I notice a white motorbike locked down near the front. So, Mildred’s back from her expedition. Which means I’m probably going to spend most of, if not all of my shift helping her get the new stuff sorted out. There’s also probably more stuff that’ll get sent to the store over the next few days as well. I can only hope it’s not anything too heavy, or I’m going to spend the next day or two with sore arms.

I head inside the store and switch places with the girl at the front counter. A few minutes later, someone enters from the backroom. An elderly woman with greying red hair, bright blue eyes hidden under glasses, and breasts the size of volley balls. It’s Mildred. Despite her age, she has a lively personality and doesn’t seem to suffer from too many old people health problems. We also have an oddly close relationship for a boss and employee. Shortly after my breakup with my ex, she invited me for a drink after closing time. The alcohol caused me to have a rather embarrassing crying fit, and from that moment on, she always felt the need to check in on my mental status. This has led to us having rather personal conversations during the slower hours of my shifts.

She’s a strange person to say the least. One particularly strange aspect of hers is that beneath the outer shell of a lively older lady, lies a bitter and cynical misanthrope. She was there when the old world ended, and the split occurred. She spent a good amount of her 20s living under the cruel regime of LOVE, and it’s clear that it’s left severe mental scars that haven’t healed with age. She’s told me before that I’m a rare person that she “gets a good feeling from”. I don’t know why that is. I’m really nothing special. Part of me wonders if she just has a thing for pale twinks. Regardless, you could say she’s the only real friend I have as of late.

“Good evening, Gray, nice of you to show up on time.”

She comes to greet me.

“I’m always on time.”

“True, but that could change…Oh, could you come to the backroom with me?”

Normally being invited to the backroom, especially on days after Mildred’s expeditions, wouldn’t really be something I take note of. However, she’s making what I can only refer to as “the look”. It’s this passive aggressive smile she makes when she’s mad at me about something, but also feels the need to keep her composure. I can’t say I’m looking forward to whatever she wants to lecture me about. I have a bad feeling that it’s about Blanche. Blanche did tell me this morning that she got my address from Mildred after all.  She’s also told me that she’s apparently one of Mildred’s favorite customers. As much as I’m dreading it, I follow Mildred into the backroom. Inside lay several boxes, both opened and unopened. After gently shutting the door, “the look” on Mildred’s face turns to one of a parent annoyed at their kid.

“…You know Gray, Blanche came to the store around noon to talk to me.”

God dammit it is about Blanche. No, you know what, fuck it. I’m not going to take whatever angry lecture she has for me lying down. Mildred needs to address some things too.

“Yeah, I take it she told you that I had no interest in her barging in on my personal life? Because I don’t. Seriously, what the hell were you thinking when you just decided to give her my address out of nowhere?”

She sighs and looks at me frustrated.

“You’re making it sound like I just gave your address to a creepy stalker or something like that. I gave it to a friend of yours because she’s worried about you.”

“Me and Blanche talked for a few months while Marisa was dying, that’s hardly friendship. Besides, why are you pushing her so hard on me anyways? Don’t tell me that Blanche is one of those rare people that you just ‘have a good feeling’ about?”

I think the only other people Mildred’s told me she’s gotten a “good feeling” about are Bernie and Liam…Well, I also know she’s married with kids and grandkids. So, I’d like to think she has a “good feeling” about her husband and kids at the very least.

“Yes, she is. Blanche has been making regular visits to the store lately, so I’ve had a few opportunities to talk with her. I can tell that she has a good heart, and is also a victim of this cruel existence that we call ‘life’.”

I have no idea what her standards for “getting a good feeling” from people is. I can’t really say it’s random, because it’s not like I’ve ever heard her say that for thugs and hooligan scumbags. So perhaps there is something to it beyond whether or not she just likes how someone looks. But I still haven’t got a clue. Mildred keeps lecturing me.

“Gray, do you really think that Blanche is the kind of person who would just hassle random people on her health?”

Yes.

“Because if so, then you’re wrong. During those few months when you talked with her, you left an impression on her. She wants to be friends with you. She’s not pestering you because she’s an overly obsessed nurse. She’s doing it because she cares about you and your wellbeing. And so do I. So please Gray, accept her offer.”

…I’m frustrated. There are few things I hate more than giving in and letting an opposing side “win”. However, I realistically don’t have anything in my arsenal to fight back with. I have no choice but to give in.

“…Ugh, fine. I’ll do it.”

I cross my arms and express my agreement in the most negative way I can muster. Mildred doesn’t care about how much I hate this though. She’s back to all smiles.

“Good boy. I know I can always rely on you. Now let’s get to unloading my new findings.”

And so, began a shift consisting mostly of me helping Mildred sort out her new findings in between attending the occasional customer. From what she’s told me, Mildred’s expeditions involve her riding her motorbike to random small stores, dumps, and other such places to find things relevant to what she wants to sell. She’ll then box the new items, send them to a storage place she has (she’s never told me where it’s located), make more trips to get more items, and then when she feels she has enough new stuff to add to the store, she makes multiple trips to the storage place to take the boxes back to the store. Apparently, she’s been doing this for more than thirty years now. Longer than I’ve been alive.

I wonder what I’ll be like when I’m Mildred’s age. Hell, I wonder if I’ll even live to be Mildred’s age. I’m only 24 and I already feel exhausted by life. There’s no way in hell little kid me could’ve ever foreseen the pathetic adult I’ve become. When I was a child, I was shy and nervous around people, and thus was an obedient “good kid” because the idea of other people being mad at me was distressing. Didn’t really work though, at least not with my brother and sister. They hated my mere existence and made sure to let me know at any opportunity they could. I presume this is because I was the “favorite” of my parents. As for why I was the “favorite”? Perhaps it was because I was the youngest, maybe it’s because I was the most subservient, or perhaps it was because I’m gay and my parents liked having a “gay son” to show off to their fellow Outside LOVER friends. The reason doesn’t matter though, it’s not like I wanted to be the “favorite” and take attention away from my siblings.

But my siblings would never believe me if I told them that, and I frequently became victim to their torment as a child.  Something that I find interesting about my siblings is how they seemed to embody the worst traits associated with their sex. My brother was a loud, obnoxious, lump of mass who had more muscles than brain cells, and as such would frequently threaten me with violence. Most commonly, he would shove me to the ground and punch the ground right next to me while yelling at me. He never actually hurt me though, I think because even he was smart enough to know that he’d be in serious trouble if my parents learned of him leaving any marks on me. Not that his threats weren’t more than enough to leave me in tears. I was quite the crybaby as a kid.

My sister was a confusing person to say the least. She was cunning, manipulative, and extremely passive aggressive. She would frequently switch between a fake “nice” persona and her real “mean” side around me. When people were around, she was the kindest and most loving sister anyone could ask for. But as soon as we were alone together, that’s when the real her came out and so did the insults and criticisms of me. The words that she used to describe me the most were “disgusting”, “annoying”, “stupid”, and “freak”. It seemed to be that no matter what I did, whether it be hanging out in the living room, greeting her, or even so much as just eating a snack, she would find something about what I was doing to be distasteful. It was as if she couldn’t even see me as a human being.

One would think that at least because I was the “favorite” of my parents, that I would at least have gotten along well with them. But that’s really not the case. I grew up in a family of Outside LOVERS and the thing about the LOVER ideology is that LOVERS and Outside LOVERS don’t view people as people, even if those people are their own flesh and blood. To the LOVER ideology, people are nothing more than either tools for your political ideology or opponents to such. I wasn’t really aware of this as a child, but as I grew older, I couldn’t help but notice how…”fake” my parents’ so called “affection” felt. Especially when disagreements came about.

I distinctly remember one day when I told my parents I wasn’t interested in joining in on an Outside LOVER social event, and for the next month, the “love” they had always showered me with came to a stop. My mother kept guilting me to go, and my father threw mocking remarks and insults at me. It was at that moment when I realized that my parents never actually loved me. They loved the image of me they had in their heads. It was with this realization, mixed with the hormones brought on by puberty, that I started to harbor both a massive resentment towards my entire family and a deep desire to escape it all. This led to me hanging out with drug users as a teenager. Drugs provided the perfect escape from my life and negative feelings. Now the drug users were separated into three groups. You had the upper kids, the downer kids, and the hallucination kids. The hallucination kids were where I felt at home. Substances such as LSD, ecstasy, ketamine, and DMT became my best friends. The hallucination kids were also how I met my ex. It was during these times of tripping out with others that I could truly feel okay with life. I found myself getting into arguments with my family at this time too. I hated how spineless I was, and I wanted to stand up for myself against them. Not like it ever worked though. Talking back would only lead to worse treatment from my siblings. I even managed to piss my brother off so much at one point that he no longer cared about avoiding actually physically hurting me and he punched me in the stomach. My parents didn’t even punish him that much, showing just how fake that “love” for me from them really was.

You know, if there’s one thing from the old world that I’m glad isn’t really a thing in modern times is higher education. If college were still a thing, then there’s a good chance that even after reaching adulthood, I would still be stuck with my family. But since I didn’t need to worry about that, I could focus on an escape plan. Even though “laws” aren’t a thing in the territories, business still have their own rules to follow. For instance, most landlords and homeowners only give offers to people age 18 and up. So, me and my ex spent the last year of high school doing odd jobs for people in order to earn enough money that we could live on our own after graduation. It was a plan that went smoothly; however, I probably should’ve seen that as a warning sign. Once the two of us got a lease at the apartment, I basically told my family to go fuck themselves and haven’t been on speaking terms with them since. You’d think that after that moment, my life would’ve been nothing but perfection after that. At least if it was a fictional story, it would’ve. But of course, that’s not the way things went. I mean, I guess things were okay for the next year or so, but then the whole thing with my ex cheating on me and us breaking up (I guess I should be grateful he left and I didn’t get kicked out), and then I met Marisa only to have to deal with her baggage.

I don’t really know what I’m doing with my life or why I continue to keep living. All I’m doing at this point is just engaging in the monotony of going to work, and then spending time at home watching DVDs, browsing the internet, and occasionally playing video games that my low spec computer can run. I guess I could go back to doing drugs, but honestly doing drugs only made me okay in the current moment I was using them. I’d rather just be able to feel okay all of the time. I was so lost in my thoughts of the past, that my shift was over in what felt like an instant. They say time passes by when you’re having fun, but thoughts of the past are never fun for me.

Author’s Note: Going back to these old chapters of mine, it’s interesting to see what I like/dislike about them and what I feel the need to change. I do find it interesting that so far, my writing is mostly exposition and dialogue. Indeed, if you don’t like slice of life and long tangents, then you probably won’t like the rest of what I have planned.

Nothing interesting happened while I was at Marisa’s grave, but then again, I picked this specific area precisely because nobody comes around here. I hang around there for about an hour or two before I figure that it’s best for me to head home. My apartment’s not too far from here, only a ten-minute walk. I don’t have the money for a fancy gated high-rise apartment, but the place I live in is good enough. The walls are thick enough that I can’t hear what other tenants are doing in their rooms, and the rent’s pretty reasonable. The only issue I have is that my landlord has a habit of being unreliable.

He’s a member of the PearlCoin Organization, so he’s usually busy dealing with those sorts of people. As a result, it takes him forever to get to things that need maintenance. The worst part is that there’s a box on the front desk where us tenants slip in pieces of paper that’s supposed to help notify him of problems in the apartment faster, but it hasn’t worked. For example, my heater has been broken for three months now and he’s yet to fix it. I guess it’s not that important anymore since the weather’s getting warmer, but I’m still pissed about having to spend all of winter freezing my ass off.

My room is on the third floor of the apartment. Since I don’t trust elevators, I use the stairs. The nice thing about using the stairs is that merely walking to and from work gets me good exercise. At least I think it does. My mind’s focusing on other things as I reach up the stairs, and because of that I accidentally bump into someone.

“Ah, shit…Sorry. Are you okay ma’am?”

The small albino woman I’ve bumped into is my current next door neighbor who moved in shortly after Marisa’s death. I don’t know anything about her beyond the fact she seems to work at night and sleeps during the day. Really not all that different from my life. She looks up at me irritated and sighs.

“…I’m not going to get mad at you because we’ve never actually talked before, but despite my looks, I am a man.”

With that she…He walks off. I seriously spent the last seven months thinking that guy was a woman. Turns out traps are lot more boring in real life. With that thought in my head, I unlock the door to my apartment and head inside. My apartment isn’t the biggest out there, but it’s not cramped at the very least. As long as you don’t mind the random crap strewn about all over the place. I’m saving up money so I can move into an actual house, but that’s not going to happen for a while. I recall Marisa once suggesting that I sell my DVD collection. I of course rejected such blasphemy, and this resulted in an argument between us.

The first thing I do after I come home is start rummaging through the fridge for dinner. Something I usually do before heading out to work, but the whole ‘having to work a different shift’ thing has messed up my usual schedule a bit. I pick out some microwave chicken dish and boot up my computer while it heats up. Computers in the territories tend to be a bit slower compared to the ones from LOVE, but at least you get a fully uncensored internet. I know all of the websites on servers in LOVE use .com and .org addresses and they block anyone not from LOVE so it’s extremely difficult to access even with a VPN.

When I open my browser, I look through the recent emails I’ve got. Most of these are spam, but one of them seems to be from… Bernie? The guy who got sick? I’ve never even so much as greeted him before. I know Mildred has a clipboard in the backroom at the store where employees can write down contact information they’re comfortable with sharing…I only just now remember that. I also just now remember that I put my email on said clipboard because this is the first time anyone from work that’s not Mildred has bothered to message me.

Hi, it’s me Bernie. From Mildred’s. I hope I don’t creep you out too much by sending you this message. I just wanted to apologize for needing you to work my shift. It’s a bit embarrassing to admit, but it turns out I didn’t actually get food poisoning. Something went wrong with the pharmacist at the drug store, some medications got mixed up, and my usual allergy medication was mixed up with laxatives. I did need the day off, but I apologize if I made my situation sound more serious. My stomach’s feeling better now, and I can work my shift tomorrow. I know I should tell Mildred too, but I can’t seem to get a hold of her.

Reading this email left me with a few concerns. First of all, I hope that pharmacist was fired. That’s the only drug store we have for miles, and while I don’t really need to visit there often, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard of an incident like this happening. I suppose things like this are why medical licenses were a requirement for medicine back in the old world. All that happens now is that if you spend enough years as an apprentice for a senior medical worker, then you can get a job in said field.  The quality of the medical workers to come from this practice usually comes from the quality of the senior medical worker.

So, if the senior medical worker is bad and fucks up frequently, then their apprentice will also most likely end up the same way. Some territories have excellent health care, while others are so bad, you’d be better off just trying to treat yourself. I think the healthcare around here is decent enough. At least the people at the clinic are good, but the pharmacists tend to be of mixed quality. As such, incidents of mixed-up medication aren’t uncommon around here, and have even led to death a few times. Still, it’s not all bad. There was one positive incident where a man’s sildenafil prescription got swapped up with some hypertension meds. But of course, one positive exception doesn’t change the fact that you need to be really careful when visiting the drug store.

Secondly, would it really kill Mildred to send out notices to everyone whenever she’s out on one of her expeditions for more old media? She can be pretty irresponsible for a store owner at times. The most she does whenever she’s on one of her trips is tell maybe one or two employees about it, and then leave a small note on the counter that always gets thrown away by the next person on shift.  All she needs to do is send out a group email when she needs to (you know, just like the old world businesses that she’s desperate to emulate). I even suggested this to her once, but she refused for the reason that not everyone has computers… So, I guess she just prefers the majority of workers to be out of the loop, compared to a few people not knowing what’s going on. I write a small email to Bernie wherein all my thoughts are expressed in three short sentences.

Hey, I’m not creeped out, it’s fine. You should talk to the pharmacists if they’re screwing with your meds like that. Don’t mind Mildred, she’s out on an expedition getting new stuff for the store.

Hopefully the message is sufficient enough. After checking my email, I browse through fuhenfutou.xyz. A terrible “generalized forum” filled with awful people that I only really bother with because it occasionally has some neat things related to stuff I like posted. But even then, I’ve been finding myself contemplating if it’s even really worth it to continue having an account on the site. Especially with the negative posting score I have that makes it impossible for me to comment more than once a day due to reasons I’d rather not think about right after work.

I guess I find the political threads kind of funny, in the same way monkeys throwing their crap is kind of funny. It consists of nothing more than Outside LOVERS and HOME Lodgers (they used to call themselves Outside HOMERS, but the memes involving either an Ancient Greek poet and a popular cartoon character killed that off) getting into arguments with each other, with plenty of pseudointellectual paragraphs thrown at one another. I don’t feel like melting my brain with poorly thought-out politics today. I just browse a few decent boards related to my interests until the microwave indicates to me that my dinner is ready.

After getting my dinner, I move on to pursuitspecial.xyz, a blog by some anonymous people meant to collect news of what’s going on in LOVE, HOME, and the territories. It’s an impressively accurate blog, and the only real way to know what the hell is going on in the world without any bias in the reporting. They also have a small forum, pursuitspecialdriversseat.xyz where readers of the blog can mingle. Maybe it’s because of the more serious nature of the site, but the people here are a million times better than the asshats at Fuhenfutou. The fact that there’s no voting system on posts helps too. There doesn’t seem to be anything big today.

I can see there are some reports of political dissidents in LOVE having their LOVE POINTS reach zero and being sent to mental health centers. But that’s as newsworthy as saying the grass is green. However, even on slow news days the forum is always bustling with conversation. The most common threads are people who grew up in LOVE or HOME retelling their experiences. The mods also put in effort to make sure no one’s lying and making up bullshit stories for attention gets you permabanned. I’ve read enough of these testimonies and anecdotes that I have a pretty good understanding of how the world came to be what it is today and what it’s like to grow up in LOVE and HOME.

 I’m not a history expert, but my understanding of the history of the modern world is this; sometime in the first half of the 21st century the world split into three different factions after a series of political strife and conflict. The specific details are complicated, and I don’t have the best understanding of the issues. But it would seem to be that people were finding it more difficult to find any sort of agreement with each other. As time went on, conflict slowly but surely escalated until the year 2030, when the “old world” officially ended, and the split occurred after much bloodshed.

In LOVE, the first faction, the people are born and raised in a “residential tower” that they’re not allowed to leave due to the government’s claim that there are deadly spores outside that will damage their organs. Granted, organ damage and death from such is common in LOVE, but it’s due to the monthly “medicine treatments” that citizens are required to get. Those deaths are blamed on the spores. The people spend all their lives in these towers. Living in their own “suite”, they’ll spend their lives being sent to various “education rooms” to get the LOVER education of propaganda. Once they come of age, they’re assigned a career by the government and then spend the rest of their lives on that career. They may also be shipped to another residential tower depending on said career.

Thanks to the incredibly advanced technology, the average citizen of LOVE has all of their needs met by the government as long as they keep their LOVE POINTS high. LOVE POINTS being a currency of sorts. Every person in LOVE is born with 2000 points that then rise or decrease based off their actions. LOVE POINTS are earned by doing as one is told. By repeating the propaganda about spores, by doing well in your studies and work, by punishing those who disobey…you get the idea.  LOVE POINTS are decreased when one spreads “HATE”. “HATE” being whatever the government dislikes.

So, disagreeing with/criticizing government propaganda, not following along with the career you’re assigned, rejecting “medicine treatments”, trying to leave the residential tower, having more than one child, things like that. Losing LOVE POINTS causes one to lose access to personal belongings, food, healthcare, and other such things. Violent persecution against the people spreading “HATE” is also highly encouraged. When someone’s LOVE POINTS reaches 0, they are sent to a “mental health center”. These “mental health centers” are prisons where prisoners live in the worst conditions imaginable and are then subjected to horrific experiments by the scientists of LOVE.

In order to avoid that, most people in LOVE do as they’re told. Especially since there are surveillance cameras all over the residential towers, even in private suites. With all this in mind, it would seem that if one was miserable living in LOVE, they would have no real chance of escape. However, escapes have and still do happen. There are groups in the territories dedicated to helping people from LOVE escape. You see, for as strictly regulated as LOVE’s internet is, and for all the surveillance cameras out there, the more rebellious people of LOVE have found a way to be able to hack their computers and access websites they shouldn’t be able to have access to without being discovered.

Through this, dissidents who want to defect from LOVE are able to contact these groups and figure out an escape plan. These escape plans usually involve hacking into the surveillance systems and getting the defectors to leave via the sewers. However, there can be variations in how escapes work. Although the government of LOVE does have severe consequences for failed escape attempts, those are thankfully rare.

Life for the people in the second faction HOME is comparatively less technologically advanced than LOVE, due to the fact that HOME banned any and all technology made after the 19th century. Originally, HOME started off as just a society of dissidents from LOVE and it honestly wasn’t too different from the territories outside of having a government and laws. They also had an incredibly tense relationship with LOVE, with threats of war and conflicts between the two were frequent. However, a “cultural revolution” of sorts happened at HOME. The people of HOME were finding themselves growing increasingly paranoid about being taken over by LOVE and sought to snuff out anything that could potentially lead to their society becoming absorbed by LOVE.

The conclusion they came to was that modern technology, the sexual revolution, and secularism were to blame. So came the bans of modern technology and “deviant” behaviors along with a shift to theological rule. This came with several challenges. For one, HOME, like the other factions, consists of a third of the world. Which meant that figuring out what religion the theological rule should be based off of was impossible. This inevitably led to a split up between all the states on religious ground. Although HOME still technically refers to itself as a nation, the states themselves tend to vary greatly based off religious belief, and it’s not uncommon for some states to have conflict with other states. This weakening of HOME, along with the destruction of modern weaponry, made LOVE lose any interest in continuing to fight with HOME. Rather, LOVE prefers to use HOME as another way to push propaganda about why their culture is better.

People from HOME aren’t forcefully locked into their homes, they have the freedom to enjoy the nature around them. However, they’re forced to follow the religious beliefs of which state they’re born in, aren’t allowed to express themselves in ways that society considers “deviant” and are forbidden from so much as showing interest in foreign technology. Sure, there is no LOVE POINTS system, no being sent to a “mental health center” with awful experiments being performed on you, but if one doesn’t fit in, they will be the victim of severe social ostracization and persecution. Furthermore, incidents of witch hunts aren’t uncommon in HOME and have led to innocent people being wrongly executed or violently tortured.

Since there are no surveillance cameras and HOME has a cultural attitude of “don’t like it, then leave”, it’s not like a dissident of HOME has to worry about potentially being caught during escape. The issue is figuring out where to escape to. In contrast to LOVE mostly being urban cities, HOME is mostly rural parts of the world that are miles away from the closest neighboring settlement. So, this means that someone looking to leave HOME at best is still going to have to struggle with the elements for several days before reaching their destination.

Which leads to the third and final faction, the territories. There is no real official name, it’s just the territories. I don’t really need to know more about the place I’ve known my whole life obviously. Well, some territories are better than others. I would say I live in one of the better territories, but then again, I’ve never lived anywhere else. Even though there’s no real government or political system ruling the territories, there are still political views. These political views tend to be how much people support or don’t support their local cryptocurrency group, and whether they’re more sympathetic to LOVE (an Outside LOVER) or more sympathetic to HOME (a HOME Lodger). But nobody really has the power to change anything, so they just argue and debate online.

These arguments became so numerous that the mods of PSDS decided to move them to a general thread. Although the debates here are less obnoxious than the petty arguments on fuhenfutou, they’re still painfully repetitive and don’t bring anything new to the table. Outside LOVERS tend to believe that the more horrific stories of LOVE are overexaggerated and that LOVE should be praised for its advancements in technology and acceptance of LGBT groups. Despite their claims of LOVE not really being that bad, for some reason, they never feel compelled to move there. HOME Lodgers go on long tangents on how we could end all strife and problems in the territories if we just stopped tolerating sexual degeneracy and women knew their place again. Conveniently, they ignore the “no modern technology is allowed” part of HOME’s culture.

…It’s all tiresome. I grew up in a family of Outside LOVERS, and I’m not on good terms with them. So, you could say that I hold more resentment towards Outside LOVERS. But I can’t say that I’m really all that fond of HOME Lodgers either and I’d most likely be fucked if either side got what they wanted. It’s easy to just write these people off as just loonies arguing on the internet. But you know, Mildred was there when the split of 2030 happened, and according to her and other people around her age the political strife that led to the split was also seen as just “weirdo fringe groups” as well. Knowing that just makes me feel anxious about the future, so I try not to think about it too much.

I decide to turn my computer off and get ready for bed. Having to wake up earlier than usual has me feeling tired despite it only being 11. I have the day off tomorrow, so that’s nice. I probably won’t do anything special with my day off, I never really do. But you know, it’s always nice to not have anything to do. Even if I wanted to do something, I don’t have any friends I can hang out with. I guess I had a decent social group as a kid but looking back those were just “people I hung out with” rather than “real friends”. Maybe that’s why I feel so much responsibility for Marisa. She actually saw me as a “friend” even if I didn’t see her as one. After brushing my teeth and changing into sleepwear, I climb into my bed and fall asleep not too long after.

Author’s Notes: An entire chapter of nothing but lore dumping? Woooo! Yeah, sorry if this chapter’s a bit boring. I gotta say, uploading these old chapters I had written before is a somewhat interesting experience, mostly because I can notice problems with my writing and tweak it a bit (I’m well aware that I have a problem with run on sentences for instance).

“Welcome to Mildred’s Shop, can I help you with anything?”

The customer who walked in gives a typical “No I’m good” response with the kind of face that shows he’s trying to be nice but is clearly annoyed with me. Well, it’s not like I enjoy greeting every person who walks through the door. But I have to as part of my job. Mildred’s really obsessed with making her store just like ones from the old days…including the more annoying parts. At least I don’t have to do it in front of the regulars. Mildred’s not even her real name. I suppose that’s obvious since no one’s actually named their child Mildred after the 1950s ended. She’s also Latina, with parents from a Spanish speaking island in the Caribbean so her real name is most likely something Spanish. She says she likes to go by Mildred because “It’s a good old lady name”. She is in her 60s, so maybe she has a point, and even if she didn’t, she’s still my boss.

I don’t usually work day shifts but apparently the guy working day shift today is out of commission, and it’s not like I have an actual life outside of my job…Well, unless you count indulging in my collection of DVDs that I’ve been taking advantage of my worker’s discount to build up as “a life outside of my job”. I also have some games downloaded on my computer that I occasionally play too. The day shift doesn’t seem to be that much different outside of there being less drunks and drug addicts coming into the store. There are however, more instances of strongly opinionated people coming in to whinge about politics and current events in LOVE and HOME as well. It’s not that I’m against those sorts of topics, but I just don’t give a shit about the opinions of random strangers. Plus, I don’t live in either LOVE or HOME. Unless something’s going on that’ll affect this exact territory, I’m not interested in getting into a heated debate about it.

Growing up in a territory not part of either LOVE or HOME means that I’ve never lived under the rule of a traditional “government” or any kind or “laws”…Unless you count being ruled by crypto currency groups as a “government” and threats of being hurt by their goons as “laws”.  Looking up online posts from back in the old world days and seeing just how disturbed most people were by the idea of a lawless society is interesting. It is true there are territories that are…”not good” shall we say, but it’s not hard to find an area that’s mostly safe. At the very least, I was born and raised in one of the safer areas, so I don’t think my life is that different from someone back in the old world. Granted I can’t deny that I’ve run into some…“unpleasant” people and situations to say the least. But I’ve also never felt the need for a gun and I think that counts for something.

I decide to look towards the way of the customer that came in; a nervous, pudgy man who seems to be in his 40s. As for why he’s nervous, it’s probably because he’s in the “Adults Only” section of the store. Sure, we’ve got fairly standard “The Pizza Boy and The Janitor do a Three-way with Debbie in Dallas” type of pornos here, but Mildred’s also managed to get her hands on some uh… “exotic” and “extreme” stuff. As long as it’s not a snuff movie or involves kids, she’s fine with selling it at the store. Wonder what this guy’s gonna get. He looks like the typical stressed out type with a miserable dead end job. He probably also has a nagging wife and bratty kids too. From what I’ve seen, guys like that tend to have some “interesting” sexual desires. He finally picks a few videos and comes back up to the counter.

“Just…Just these please…”

He says with the same kind of tone that a virgin buying condoms would have. Looks like I was right about the sexual desires. The first title is a hentai called “Enema Princess”, with a cover featuring an anime loli wearing a very slutty princess dress, being held up by a muscular polar bear man also holding, you guessed it, an enema syringe. The second title’s not as interesting, but this guy’s fetish is made even more obvious as the cover is several women’s asses huddled together with enema bulbs being put right into them, and the title being “Enema Orgy: Episodes 1-5”.

“That’ll be $20.”

I inform him of the price. He fumbles with his wallet for a bit before getting the money out and leaving the store with his goods. I’ve never met this man before today, and I’ll probably never meet him again. Yet my mind can’t help but wonder what his life is like and how it’ll go after today. Maybe his fetish will be discovered, and his life will either be ruined or enhanced by that. Maybe life will go on normally and he’ll eventually die of old age. Maybe he will encounter a woman who gives him the power to have people follow his commands, of which he uses in order to cause a massive societal upheaval motivated by his daddy issues. Or maybe he will just randomly spontaneously combust before the day’s end.

“HELL-O!”

My daydreaming is suddenly interrupted by a loud voice. A small, excitable ginger girl jumps into the store with a taller teenage boy walking in behind her. Probably siblings, although they don’t seem to share much resemblance. Before I can give the usual greeting, the older boy comes up to me and asks:

“…Oh, is Bernie not here today?”

I guess this boy comes here often during the day.

“Yeah. Apparently, he has a terrible case of food poisoning and is spending all of his time on the toilet or in bed. I usually work evening shifts. I take it you’re a regular?”

I don’t know much about Bernie due to the different hours we work, but I’ve heard that he’s a nice guy who gets along with most people. I’ve also heard that he’s been cursed with some of the worst luck known to mankind. The teen boy talks to me while browsing through some DVDs.

“Uh, yeah. I’m Brenton and that’s my sister Ariel. You got anything new?”

Well, I guess that’s a step above the usual “What do you recommend” kind of question. That’s just way too broad for someone like me. All I do when that happens is just pull-out random movies from the bargain bin. Sure, this kid isn’t really asking for anything super specific, but at least “anything new” is a specification of some type. As I get the box of newest arrivals out, I can see the young girl ‘Ariel’, excitedly looking at DVDs throughout the aisles.

“…Well, we’ve got some new releases from LOVE. There’s an action-comedy film called Aquarela about a man who falls in love with a leader of a resistance movement only to realize that conspiracy theories spread HATE and that spreading HATE is wrong. This leads him to kill the woman and he never disobeys the law ever gain.”

“Don’t spoil the movie for me.”

“I’m not, that’s only the first 30 minutes. Gets pretty repetitive after that.”

“…Sounds lame. Got another one?”

I can’t say I blame him. You’ve seen one political film from LOVE, you’ve seen them all. Not like they can have any variety in political views. If some poor sod really tried to spread any other message, they’d end up in one of LOVE’s mental health centers. I pick out another random film.

“…Oh boy, the title of this one’s a little hard to say… GACTGAAGCTGTT. This here’s a romantic drama about a regular person who becomes a eunuch after a hormone injection goes wrong and is trying to find someone who will love them. I’d recommend it.”

“Isn’t it illegal to even try and bring up eunuchs in LOVE?”

“It is. The term ‘eunuch’ is never used, but it’s pretty obvious the movie’s about the issue to anyone outside of LOVE. Apparently, the director lost a severe amount of LOVE POINTS due to ‘making a movie about a false conspiracy theory’, and is now disgraced and will probably never make another movie again.”

In the old world, the term ‘eunuch’ would simply just refer to a guy who had no balls for whatever reason, but these days the term’s taken on a slightly different meaning. LOVE is known for many things. One of those things being it’s incredibly high quality sex change surgeries that can not only change your physical appearance to the opposite sex, but also make you fertile and change your chromosomes as well. Unfortunately, the one flaw to these otherwise perfect surgeries is that the body will sometimes reject the procedures causing a person to become completely sexless. The wealthy elites that make up the government of LOVE do not like things that make their society look bad. As such, eunuchs are secretly sent to mental health centers along with people who speak of their existence and spread “HATE”.

Difficult to pronounce title and politics aside, it was a surprisingly emotional film that left an impact on me. Really, the fact the director was only disgraced and not sent to a mental health center is a miracle.

“Hmm… I guess I’ll go with that one. You got any new findings from the old days?”

“I think Mildred might’ve gotten some older computer games, but she’s trying to work through the DRM on them to make them playable again. She also got some random CDs of pop music from the 1990s as well if you’re into that stuff.”

Before our conversation could continue, the girl, Ariel comes running right up to the counter with a few of her own selections.

“Gimmie these!”

She slaps several DVDs down on the counter. All of them entries from the famous “Berserker Man” series of horror films. I’ve checked them out before. Pretty standard “killer psycho on the loose” slasher films of the 1980s. I’ve checked them out before. Pretty standard “killer psycho on the loose” slasher films. That said, I do recall them being on the gory side of things and this girl not only looks young, she also seems like the type to scare easily. I don’t really give a shit about these sorts of things personally, but Mildred does.

“…Those movies are pretty violent little girl. You sure you wanna buy those?”

I could see her happy face quickly shift into an angry pout as I spoke that sentence. And then she starts yelling at me.

“How dare you treat me like a child! I’m fourteen years old! I can handle these movies just fine!”

“Oooh, you’ve seen movies like these before?”

I sarcastically ask. A long pause goes by before she replies.

“…No, but I know I can handle them!”

Part of me feels weird about following Mildred’s policies so closely. It makes me feel like a hypocrite given that I was watching much worse at her age.

“Uhh, I can put these back if you want.“

The older boy, Brenton pipes in for a bit.

“No, no it’s fine. Look, uh, Ariel, I don’t actually have a problem with kids watching gore movies-“

Another loud screech from her interrupts me.

“I’m not a kid!”

“…Young people. Look, my boss is pretty touchy about selling this kind of stuff to people that the old world would refer to as ‘minors’. I could get into some serious trouble with her if I ended up traumatizing a youth like you by doing so. If we’re going to make this transaction happen, I need you to promise me that you don’t tell anyone about the purchase.”

She looks confused by my explanation.

“…So, I can’t talk about the movies?”

“You can talk about them, just don’t let anyone know you bought the DVDs from here. Especially if the movies freak you out.”

Yet another long pause passes between the three of us.

“…You’re the only store nearby that sells movies! This is bullshit!”

The small girl ends the second pause with an explosion and storms out of the store. Brenton gives me an apologetic look and heads out after her. At least having to go put these movies back gives me something to do beyond standing behind the counter waiting for someone to buy something. Geez, she’s acting like not getting to buy those movies is the worst thing ever. She can just download them online for free. Not like the old world concept of “copyright” is a thing here. While putting the DVDs away, I can hear the front door opening again. A young woman with dark braided hair and glasses comes walking in, and I immediately recognize her.

“Hey Blanche. Been a while since I last saw you.”

Her eyes widen as she recognizes me.

“…Gray? I wasn’t aware that you worked here.”

“Well, I usually work the evening shift, but the guy who works the day shift is out sick, so you know.”

Blanche is a nurse at the local clinic. I met her when my next-door neighbor, Marisa, was dying a miserable death of organ failure. I spent a lot of time in her hospital room those days, so I got acquainted with some of the doctors and nurses, most notably with Blanche. Of course, our time was short, and Marisa’s inevitable death came about. After helping me out with the cremation process, I never saw Blanche again. At least not until now. I wonder, is she a regular here? If she comes here often, then that would mean literally the only reason I haven’t seen her in a while is due to my work schedule. She seems to have lost all interest in whatever she came into the store for and decides to start conversing with me.

“How’ve you been holding up? I know that everything involving Marisa was…tragic to say the least.”

I don’t really know how to talk about Marisa. We were neighbors and casual acquaintances, but that’s it. I just helped her out when she was dying because she had no family or friends with her.

“…I mean, I’ve been holding up fine. Just living life. What are you looking to buy?”

My abrupt subject change takes her by surprise, but she decides to go along with it.

“…O-Oh, well I’m just browsing. I’ve been getting into the habit of visiting here during my days off as of late.”

So yes, the only reason we haven’t talked in a while is just me working evening shift. What a weird thought. Silence returns back to the store as she proceeds to browse through the aisles. Every now and then, she keeps looking at me, as if she wants to come up and say more. It’d be awkward even if she came up for a recommendation. Blanche is originally from a state in HOME, and although she no longer identifies with the church she was born into and has accumulated to modern technology, she still seems to have inherited some the prudishness that comes from the culture. I am not a prudish person in the least and I just feel like I’d end up accidentally grossing her out in the process.

She eventually comes back up to the counter with a movie I’m intensely familiar with, The Long Journey.  It’s a movie about a family traveling across the continent in their shitty van after the apocalypse hit. It was a massive hit in the old world, breaking box office records, winning just about every award you can imagine, and sold an insane amount of merchandise, to the point where you can still randomly find said merchandise these days. I once came across a lighter with the movie’s characters on it while on a walk one day. I’m extremely fond of the movie myself, so I took it home with me despite not being a smoker. It’s actually rather embarrassing just how much I feel the urge to gush whenever I’m reminded of the movie’s existence.

“That’ll be $10.”

The transaction goes smoothly enough, but Blanche pauses for a moment, before speaking up.

“…Are you sure you’re alright Gray? You look so skinny.”

“I’ve always been skinny. I was a preemie you know.”

“…Being born premature only affects you as an infant, not as an adult. Are you getting enough to eat?”

She’s being awfully pushy. I get this is part of her job, but I’d much prefer it if she could stop pestering me, especially since she’s off shift.

“Yes, I get enough to eat, you can calm down.”

She furrows her brows and looks at me like she doesn’t believe me. She’s starting to get on my nerves.

“…It’s common for patients of mine to say that they’re eating healthy only for it to turn out that they have a warped idea of what ‘eating healthy’ means. Why should I believe you? Tell me, what did you have for breakfast today?”

Now I’m irritated. I didn’t really have “breakfast” per say, and I know saying that is going to get her riled up no matter how I phrase it.

“I didn’t have ‘breakfast’ so much as I got random things out of the fridge. Of course I ate enough because passing out on the job is a bad idea.”

She’s not satisfied. Of course she’s not satisfied.

“What did you get out of the fridge?”

“A small package of blueberries and a bagel.”

Her eyes widen at my reply.

“That’s…That’s barely anything! …It’s almost 3, I assume you’ve had a break for lunch by now. What did you eat then?”

Jesus Christ she won’t stop.

“I’m not going to respond to you shifting goalposts. I answered your question, now please stop bothering me.”

She leans into my face.

“It’s my job to bother people about their health. Now tell me what you had for lunch.”

Now I’m starting to get pissed.

“This isn’t the clinic. You’re not on shift. Stop bothering me or I’ll report you as a problematic customer to Mildred.”

“Well, I’ve met with Mildred several times before and she’s told me that I’m one of her favorite customers, so good luck with that.”

Blanche gets into my face, undeterred by my threat. My small experience with Blanche back when I was dealing with Marisa has taught me that she’s not the kind of person to lie. Which means that Blanche has managed to wedge her way into Mildred’s mostly misanthropic heart. Which means that Mildred wouldn’t accept me reporting Blanche as a problematic customer…Son of a bitch.

I sigh as the realization sets in.

“…I went to the café across the street.”

I have no choice but to give in to her demands.

“…And? What did you eat there?”

“…I got a mocha.”

“That doesn’t answer my question. What did you eat there?”

I already know how this conversation is going to end.

“…I didn’t eat anything. I wasn’t hungry. Now stop bothering me.”

I say that with the full knowledge that she’s not going to stop bothering me. I should’ve just made something up. But it’s too late and now I know I’m going to have to deal with more bullshit from Blanche.

“…So yes, you’re not eating well at all and may potentially have an eating disorder.”

At least she’s no longer in my face. Still, I can barely contain my desire to tell her to fuck off.

“Yeah, I’m not always hungry. I probably feel hunger less often than the average person does. That’s not an eating disorder. I don’t have any anxiety around food, and I don’t make myself puke after eating. If I’m feeling bad, I’ll go to the clinic. Stop putting your nose in places where it doesn’t belong.”

Despite phrasing it as politely as possible, she’s still mad. As if I should be apologizing to her for having the audacity to not like nosy people.

“…I’ll be seeing you again soon Gray. Even if it’s not while you’re at work. Goodbye.”

She leaves the store with a huff. I lean back against the wall and sigh heavily. “I’ll be seeing you again soon”. Fantastic, she wants to keep pestering me about my health. If I knew Blanche was the kind of person who enjoys annoying people like this, I never would’ve been friendly with her in the first place. I look at the counter and notice that the copy of The Long Journey Blanche bought is still here. Apparently, she was so caught up in interrogating me about my dietary habits that she forgot to take the movie with her. The rest of my shift passes with no further incident and soon enough it’s time for me to leave.  I see one of my co-workers enter in the form of a blond guy with a shitty haircut. It’s Liam. He doesn’t work full time, so I don’t see him too often. I don’t know much about him because he barely ever speaks. According to Mildred, he likes to take classes at the local rec center and helps out with his parents at their bar. I’m not sure how Mildred managed to get this scant information out of him given that her own social skills aren’t that great, but I guess being the boss can cure mutism.

“It’s been a pretty slow day today. I don’t think anything too crazy should happen tonight. Oh, and uh, a customer bought a DVD but forgot to take it with her, so that’s why it’s on the counter.”

I inform Liam, who gives no response outside of a nod. With that, my shift is done. My home isn’t too far from the store, about a twenty-minute walk or so if I don’t have to stop off to for groceries on the way back. That said, it’s March and the weather’s good, so I feel like making a stop at Marisa’s grave. Well, it’s not a “grave” in the traditional sense. After the fall of the old world, a lot of what would be considered “common decency” was culturally thrown out the window. This includes the idea of “respecting the dead”. Hooligans started defacing various graveyards, cemeteries, and destroying all gravestones that they could. This would lead to people’s graves at best being pissed on and at worst being smashed to bits. It doesn’t help that the crypto currency groups running the infrastructure of the territories tend to not give a shit about graves. I know the PearlCoin Organization, really couldn’t give less of a shit.

As such people either just keep urns or small boxes of their loved ones. Because even if proper traditional old world graves are something only the extremely lucky can afford to have, humans still cling to the idea of having a proper place for others after death. I’m not family of Marisa and our relationship wasn’t close, but when she died, I was the only person available to take care of her body. I put her ashes in a small box but fearing it would get lost in the clutter that is my apartment, I felt the need to place it somewhere else. With Mildred’s help, I managed to find an abandoned house that I could dig a hole in and bury the box right near the entrance. Ever since then, I make it habit to visit her grave, however I neglected to do so during the winter simply because it was too cold out. When I arrive at the abandoned house, I squat down right by where I buried Marisa’s ashes. I feel like an idiot just staring into space and loitering around this dilapidated house thinking about random nothings. But again, I have this weird since of duty towards Marisa despite not having a close relationship with her.

I’ll probably go home after about an hour or so.

Author’s Notes: I don’t have much to say about this chapter. It’s merely an introduction to the characters and world. And well, that’s basically what the whole arc will be about. But I’ll probably have more to talk about in later chapters. I plan on having a page for character profiles once I’m done with this arc.