It’s not time for another letterbag yet, rather it’s time to bring up the first time I’ve deleted a message. Honestly, I’m not sure if it’s a smart idea to post about this, but I think I want to be transparent about deleting messages on Neospring and not using them for future letterbags (that could change if I get more popular).
WARNING: THE REST OF THIS POST IS ABOUT DUMB PERSONAL BULLSHIT. I’VE MADE SURE TO NOT UNVEIL ANY PERSONAL DETAILS, BUT THIS POST WILL MOST LIKELY BE CONFUSING TO PRETTY MUCH ALL PEOPLE WHO READ THIS POST WHO AREN’T INVOLVED WITH SAID PERSONAL BULLSHIT. SO 99.9% OF PEOPLE.
The main reason I deleted the message and won’t be discussing what it said is that it had to do with some personal bullshit that I really don’t want to bring out to the public internet. It was basically someone I knew wishing me a happy birthday in a manner that made me uncomfortable.
To make a long story short: I became friends with someone and talked to them online for years, found myself getting increasingly irritated with that person for a variety of reasons, and ended up deciding to block that person out of nowhere with next to no explanation. Something that I’m deeply conflicted on, and when I’ve discussed the situation with others, I’ve gotten mixed answers on whether or not I should’ve just explained things to them right then and there.
Again, it’s a lot of interpersonal bullshit, and maybe making this post was a bad idea, but I do know the person who messaged me follow my website, I can see the IP address associated with the city they’re from in my analytics. So perhaps under some delusion, I feel I should try to address the issue in a way that doesn’t make my private shit too open for the public internet.
So O, if it was you that sent that message (and I’m 99% certain it was), I’m sorry I just ended our friendship like that, and I probably should’ve explained things better, but I’m not necessarily sorry about ending the friendship. I really was growing more tired of your terminally online attitude, and was finding less and less reason to talk with you outside of habit. Also, I’m pretty certain you were getting a crush on me and projecting an image of me that was making me feel uncomfortable, but perhaps that’s just paranoia fueling those thoughts. In my defense, I have suffered sexual harassment from simps in the past before.
If your post was threatening, then fuck you. If it wasn’t threatening and meant to be genuine, well I can see why you would feel that way. There are manners in which I do feel trapped, isolated, and frustrated with life, but I also know that frankly speaking, you were never gonna be the person who saves me from my negativity. And I have other things to focus on. I’m finally planning on leaving the NEET life this year (something I’m not proud of ever having fallen into) and am starting to look into job offers and places near me. Again, I’m not gonna act like all of my problems will be magically solved soon. Hell, I don’t even know if they’ll ever be solved in my life. But if they ever do, you were never going to be the person who did that for me. Maybe that’s a really shitty thing to say, but it’s ultimately the truth.
